The Grammarian’s Love Life

I once dated a palindrome
She was all backwards & stuff

I once dated an anagram
She was all mixed up

I dated a simile once
She & I were too much alike

I dated a metaphor too
Didn’t quite understand her

I once dated a hyperbole
She said ‘literally’, like, a lot

I once dated a dependent clause
But she was too needy

Then tried seeing her cousin, independent clause
She didn’t need me at all

There was a time I dated an oxymoron
We were like, day & night

Oh, dated a foreign girl, onomatopoeia
She didn’t say much; lotta banging ..

I knew an interjection
She always interrupted me

I once dated a malaprop
She was funny; but always mistaken

I once dated irony
She never meant what she said

I once dated sarcasm
Far too bitter, for my taste

I once dated an acronym: She was smart, witty & cute
And she stood for something

She’s completed my sentence ever since

We eventually married. We’re parenthesis now,
adopted two little orphans: apostrophe & ellipsis

Oy, raising two kids is enough, period

Copyright© | Bad Pun Baron | 23 Juin 2011

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